Trying to conceive after 35 can feel like a rollercoaster of emotions, advice, and anxiety. Everywhere you turn, someone is reminding you about the “ticking biological clock”, and let’s be honest—it’s exhausting.
But here’s what I realized: stress wasn’t helping me get pregnant. So, I made a conscious decision to let go of the worries that weren’t serving me—and it changed everything.
If you’re on this journey, here are the things I stopped stressing about (and you should, too!).
1️⃣ My Age as a “Fertility Expiration Date”
I used to panic every time I heard the phrase “geriatric pregnancy” (seriously, can we retire that term?). But guess what? More women than ever are having healthy babies in their late 30s and 40s.
🔹 Birth rates for women 40-44 are rising, while younger age groups are declining.
🔹 Many women conceive naturally after 35—even after 40.
🔹 Medical advances & lifestyle changes mean fertility isn’t as doomed as we’re told.
So, I stopped fixating on my age as a deadline, especially after realizing that a lot of these conventional beliefs are based on 300-year-old beliefs, and started focusing on what I could control instead.
2️⃣ Tracking Every Tiny Symptom
I used to Google every twinge, cramp, or change in my body, convinced it was either implantation or a sign of doom. It became an obsession—and a stressful one. Speaking from experience, it will become even more stressful when you do get pregnant!
What I learned?
✔ Most symptoms mean nothing early on.
✔ The body fluctuates—every month won’t necessarily feel the same.
✔ Overanalyzing symptoms only creates anxiety.
Now, I let my body do its thing instead of overthinking every mild headache or sore boob.
3️⃣ The “Perfect” Cycle Timing
We’re told that there’s only a small window to conceive each month, but in reality, sperm can survive up to 5 days in the body. This means timing doesn’t have to be 100% perfect.
🔹 I stopped stressing about hitting exact ovulation day and focused on consistent intimacy.
🔹 I let go of the pressure to schedule my life around ovulation apps.
🔹 I reminded myself that stress itself can delay ovulation!
Instead of obsessing, I trusted my body’s natural rhythm—and that took off so much pressure.
4️⃣ What Other People Thought
“Oh, you’re still trying?”
“Why didn’t you have kids earlier?”
“Maybe you should just adopt.”
🙄 Sound familiar? I used to feel shame every time someone made a comment about my age and fertility. But then I realized: their opinions don’t impact my ability to conceive.
🔹 Fertility is deeply personal. No one else’s timeline matters.
🔹 I stopped explaining my choices—I owe no one an explanation.
🔹 I focused on what was best for me, not what society expects.
What changed? I set firm boundaries by only discussing my journey with those who supported me fully. Read more about navigating naysayers here.
5️⃣ The “Perfect” Diet & Supplement Regimen
At one point, I was taking more than a dozen supplements and following a super strict fertility diet—and it made me miserable.
I once asked my acupuncturist what I should eat vs. what to avoid.
His advice? Eat what makes me happy, and be happy.
Seriously. That was it. Just be happy!
The truth is:
🔹 No single food or supplement guarantees pregnancy.
🔹 Stressing about diet is often worse than an imperfect diet.
🔹 Balance is key—I still enjoyed my coffee, “cheat” meals, and dessert! (usually made with low or sugar-free substitutes, but still tasty)
I focused on a nutrient-rich diet (not a restrictive one) and stuck to the supplements that actually made a difference.
6️⃣ Comparing My Journey to Others
Nothing steals joy faster than comparing your TTC journey to someone else’s. Whether it was pregnancy announcements or IVF success stories, I used to spiral into “Why not me?” thinking.
🔹 Every fertility journey is different.
🔹 What works for one person may not be what my body needed.
🔹 I chose to celebrate others’ success without making it mean I was failing.
Instead of comparison, I focused on my own unique path.
7️⃣ The Idea That Stress Alone Would Stop Me from Conceiving
Yes, chronic stress can impact fertility, but I used to worry that every stressful moment was ruining my chances. That’s just not true.
✔ Some women conceive during the most stressful times of their lives.
✔ Stress is a factor, but it’s not the sole cause of infertility.
✔ Letting go of stress about stress helped me more than anything!
I made small shifts—like meditation and fertility yoga—but I didn’t beat myself up for having anxious days.
Final Thoughts
TTC at any age comes with challenges, but stressing about every little thing doesn’t help. Once I let go of these worries, I felt lighter, happier, and more hopeful—and that made all the difference.
🌟 What’s something YOU stopped stressing about on your fertility journey? Let’s chat in the comments!