💛 Love, Commitment & The Journey to Parenthood
Dating in your 30s and beyond comes with clarity, confidence, and a sense of purpose that your younger self may not have had.
If you know that having children is in your future, finding a romantic partner who aligns with your goals is not just about love—it’s about shared values, support, and readiness for parenthood.
The good news? There’s no “too late” in love, and there’s no “too late” in parenthood.
I met my now-husband when I was 39, and today, we have a beautiful life and baby girl together.
It certainly can happen – even to someone as cynical as I was!
I’m not alone, either.
I have one friend who met her now-husband at 37.
Another at 36 – and I can think of quite a few others!
In fact, more people than ever are starting families after 35.
Here’s how to approach dating and relationships with confidence, joy, and a clear vision for your future family.
1️⃣ Own Your Timeline with Confidence
Society may have outdated narratives about when and how women should have children (300 years old – time to let that go, I’d say!), but science, technology, and real-life success stories tell a different tale. Women over 35—and over 40 (like me!)—are having healthy pregnancies every day.
✔ If building a family is a priority, own it. There’s no need to hide it, downplay it, or feel apologetic.
✔ Clarity attracts the right person. The right partner won’t be intimidated by your dreams—they’ll be inspired to build them with you.
✨ Reminder: You are not “too late.” The right relationship moves at the right pace—whether that means a whirlwind romance or a slow and steady connection that blossoms into something beautiful.
2️⃣ Be Upfront About Your Desire for Children
🚫 Myth: “Talking about kids too soon will scare someone away.”
✅ Truth: The right person for you won’t be scared away by an honest, open conversation about the future.
In early conversation, it’s okay to ask:
💬 “How do you feel about having kids one day?”
💬 “What does your ideal future look like?”
If someone shares your excitement, that’s a green flag! If someone hesitates, dismisses it, or avoids the conversation entirely, that’s valuable insight before investing more of your time.
✨ Reminder: Your dream of motherhood is valid, important, and worth prioritizing. The right partner will align with that dream, not make you question it.
3️⃣ Look for Key “Future-Ready” Traits in a Partner
Beyond chemistry and attraction, long-term compatibility matters—especially when thinking about building a family together.
✔ Emotional Maturity – Can they handle real-life challenges?
✔ Stability (Emotionally & Financially) – Are they reliable, responsible, and ready for commitment?
✔ Supportive & Encouraging – Will they be by your side through the highs and lows?
✔ Excited About Parenthood – Do they express a real desire to raise children and be actively involved?
✨ Reminder: The right person doesn’t have to be perfect—they just need to be willing to grow with you.
4️⃣ Don’t Settle—You Deserve a True Partner
As time passes, some women feel pressure to “settle” just because they want children. But here’s the reality:
🚫 Having a child with the wrong person can be harder than waiting for the right one.
🚫 Motherhood isn’t just about having a baby—it’s about building a loving, supportive home. You are not just dating for yourself but also for a fellow parent of your future child(ren).
If a relationship feels forced, full of red flags, or not truly aligned, trust your instincts. You and deserve:
💛 A partner, not a project
💛 Support, not uncertainty
💛 A teammate, not a source of stress
✨ Reminder: A fulfilling relationship enhances your journey to motherhood—it doesn’t create unnecessary struggles, or future struggles and worries when you do become a mother.
5️⃣ Keep an Open Mind About Different Paths to Parenthood
There are many ways to create a family today, whether through natural conception, IVF, egg freezing, surrogacy, adoption, or donor sperm. The right partner will be open to exploring options with you—because they value the future you’re building together.
✔ If you meet someone later in life, they may be open to starting a family quickly.
✔ If you haven’t met the right partner yet, you can still take steps to preserve your fertility and pursue motherhood on your own if you choose to.
💡 Consider fertility check-ups, egg freezing, or learning about alternative paths if family-building is a big dream for you.
✨ Reminder: Love doesn’t have an expiration date, and neither does motherhood.
✔ Your journey is uniquely yours.
✔ The right love is worth waiting for.
✔ Your dreams are still possible.
Final Thought: Love, Motherhood & Believing in Your Path
Finding the right partner when you know you’ll be trying to conceive over 35 isn’t about rushing into something—it’s about clarity, confidence, and trust that the right person will align with your vision.
💛 Be clear about what you want.
💛 Don’t settle for anything less than true support.
💛 Believe in the timing of your own journey.
✨ Encouraging Reminder: The best relationships feel peaceful, secure, and aligned. And when the right person comes along? You’ll know.
💬 What’s your biggest challenge in dating while thinking about future motherhood? Let’s support each other in the comments!